傑夫.佛斯特(Jeff Foster)如是說----
THE WILD BUDDHA (狂野的佛陀)
朋友,此刻,你可以將「平靜、沉著、有自制力以及理智的人」這樣的概念丟掉。你可以讓「全然平和冷靜的石佛」的圖像在火中燃燒殆盡。上述這些概念和圖像都是可怕的謊言。因為:哭泣,大叫,哀鳴,嘆氣,歇斯底里地大笑,渾身顫抖,感到害怕、憤怒、深深的悲傷、欣喜若狂般的喜悅、幽深且強大的欲望與渴求,這些都是健康的。
我們所有人內在都有一個狂野的佛陀,而且她是不會被馴化的。你越是試圖壓抑她,她會叫得越大聲。你越是試圖羞辱她,試圖說她瘋了,說她「不理性」或「太過情緒化」,她會變得越憤怒和越有力量。你越是跑離她,她會越追著你跑。你無法用機伶的話語和複雜的哲學理論擊敗她。你無法讓她安靜無聲;你無法從她那裏逃離,因為你若試圖那樣做的話,你只是在逃離你自己。
我們最終還是得要轉身面對內在那個「狂野者」:對於我們那些與生俱來的感覺、強烈的欲望和脈動—無論是歡愉的或痛苦的,溫和的或劇烈的—懷著好奇心,同時,把我們細心的注意力和呼吸當成禮物般送給它們,給予它們愛和了解,讓它們能永遠在我們內在裡安住下來,能在那裡自由地遨遊。當我們能跟自己的狂野為友,我們也就能與他人內在裡的狂野為友。當我們不再害怕自己的種種感覺,我們也就不會再試圖—白費力氣地—控制他人的種種感覺,同時,我們將會對我們的狂野玩伴們有較多的慈悲心。我們將可以一起:哭泣,大叫,哀鳴,嘆氣,歇斯底里地大笑,渾身顫抖,感到害怕、憤怒、深深的悲傷、欣喜若狂般的喜悅、幽深且強大的欲望與渴求;同時,我們將能視這些表達行為為神聖的且一起歡慶之。
佛陀本身有時候會像個小嬰兒般哭泣,同時祂也會對世界上的不公不義和虐待行為感到義憤填膺;祂也害怕死亡,但祂就在那份害怕的中心處無懼地站著。佛陀這樣的力量的源頭就在於:對自己內在的狂野有著一份廣大無邊與牢不可破的愛。
【原文參考】
You can throw away the ideal of the “calm, cool, collected and rational one” right now, friend. You can let the image of the “perfectly peaceful stone Buddha” burn on the fire. It is a terrible lie. It is healthy to sob, to scream, to moan, to sigh, to laugh hysterically, to tremble, to feel fear, anger, profound sorrow, ecstatic joy, deep and powerful desires and longings.
There is a wild Buddha in all of us and she will not be tamed. The more you try to suppress her, the louder she gets. The more you try to shame her, try to make her feel crazy, ‘irrational’ or ‘overly emotional’, the angrier and more powerful she gets. The more you run from her, the more she runs after you. She will not be defeated with clever words and sophisticated philosophies. She will not be silenced; you will not be able to escape her, for you are only trying to escape yourself.
We all must eventually turn to face the Wild One inside, become curious about our natural feelings, urges and impulses, both pleasurable and painful, both gentle and intense, give them the gift of our mindful attention and breath, give them our love and understanding, give them a permanent home in ourselves, a place to roam freely. When we befriend our own wildness, we can befriend it in others. When we no longer fear our feelings, we will no longer – in vain - try to control the feelings of others, and we will have much compassion for our wild playmates. We will sob, scream, moan, sigh, laugh hysterically, tremble, feel fear, anger, profound sorrow, ecstatic joy, deep and powerful desires and longings together, and we will celebrate all of these as divine expressions.
The Buddha sobbed like a baby sometimes, felt righteous anger at the injustice and abuse in the world, feared death but stood fearlessly at the heart of that fear. Here was the source of the Buddha’s power – an infinite and unbreakable love for the wildness inside.
- Jeff Foster |